Two Years of Marriage, Gods Way

Today makes two beautiful years that I've been married to my soulmate. We have grown so much together. I thank God daily for blessing me with such a loving, selfless, and hard working husband, that I get to journey through life with. By no means am I a marriage expert, but I would like to share some lessons in marriage that I've learned along the way.

1) NOTHING is too hard for the Lord! You or your spouse might need some changes to take place in one another, or maybe your marriage might be in need of a deliverance, healing, or a miracle. With man it might seem impossible, but with God everything is possible. Kris and I both have had some changes to take place in our lives for the better, individually and as an whole. For example, when I first met my husband, after I gave my life to Christ, the Lord showed me some areas Kris was in bondage in, alcohol for one. Well of course I dearly wanted him out of bondage to alcohol. Long story short, as his wife I immediately sacrificed alcohol. I would occasionally have a glass of wine with friends and family, but after I saw the bondage my husband was in, I made the pledge to stop drinking wine altogether, and set the example before him. I prayed and fasted earnestly on my husband behalf for a deliverance. "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband ..."(1Corinthians 7:14). Lets just say God honored my sacrifice, prayers, and fasting, by delivering my husband of SEVENTEEN years of alcoholism on my birthday, December 9th!! *insert praise dance* What a remarkable miracle we both will never forget!! "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" (Jeremiah 32:27) Absolutely not!!!! Whatever you or your spouse is in need of, God can and will do it. He's able able able! Put your trust in Him and don't give up on your husband. You might be the only one thats praying for him. Last but not least, set the example. I can not tell you how important that one is. If you want your husband to pray more, pray in front of him before bed. Want your husband to go to church? Start going to church every Sunday, with or without him, and ask him to go along for support some days. God will honor your actions.

2) CHOOSE your battles WISELY. Not everything needs a reaction, argument, or need to be spoken on. This is probably one of the biggest lesson I had to conquer. By nature women, we're sassy at the mouth. Its like it just comes with being a woman lol, but thats no excuse. Ive learned that we can either build our husband up or tear him down. It can be done so easily, quickly, and it can also be done unintentionally. And it can be done with the words we choose to use. What words are you choosing to speak over your husband, which in actuality you're speaking over your life as well, because the word tell us we're "One flesh." So are we speaking Life of death over our husbands? Prosperity or destruction? I remember a time in our marriage where I was really hurt by something Kris did. Out of hurt and anger I retaliated in an ugly and ungodly manner. I said some mean and ugly things, I would be snappy and moody, all out of hurt. I felt justified in a sense because he had hurt me, so I wanted to hurt him. I was totally operating in the spirit of rebellion and was flat out wrong. At the end of every day, when it was just me and The Lord, I would repent and ask for forgiveness for being an ungodly woman and wife. I knew God wasn't pleased. Any who, for days I would get smart with Kris, say mean things, get moody, and then at the end of every day, like I stated, I would apologize and ask for forgiveness. Well one particular night while I was in prayer, repenting for being ugly to Kris again, and asking for forgiveness, The Lord interrupted my prayer and said, "A wise woman...." I hung my head and began to tear up. I knew that scripture so well. I responded back by finishing the scripture "Yes Lord, Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her bare hands." Proverbs 14:1 Every day after that encounter with the Lord, I've set my heart on being that "Wise Woman." A wise woman who builds her house with love, joy and peace, who chooses her battles wisely, and in return there's less strife, disagreements, and arguments. I can honestly say since I've began to be conscious about what I choose to speak on, God has tremendously moved in and changed some areas of my husband for the best. Did it come natural? of course not! And I don't just not speak up on things either, I just know what to speak on and when. I know in the mornings, Kris is not to big on holding deep conversations or being asked a ton of questions, thats the start of his day. I know not to bring stuff up on Sunday mornings before church. So lets be wise about the battles we choose with our husbands.

3) Marriage is WORK. There's absoloutly no other way to put it. You have to be willing to make your marriage work, as well as continuously put in the effort. The minute you get relaxed, is the minute your spouse will noticed it and complain. For our two year anniversary Kris requested that I get my natural hair flat ironed. Did I want to put heat in my hair? No. But I happily obliged and got it flat ironed. He loved it and so did I. Don't ever get it in your heart, that you have done enough, or your husband should be satisfied with just the way you are. Instead take delight in looking good for yourself and your husband. For several hours out of a day, Kris and I don't see one another, so we put forth the effort to text one another throughout the day. Kris have his own business so during my one hour lunch break he's able to talk on the phone, or some days, take me out to lunch. I thank God for the effort my husband put into our marriage. Be intentional about date day. If your husband come to you about some things he would like you to do more or be better at, don't take it as him complaining, instead listen and put forth the effort in doing. For a while I was guilty at this. If Kris asked me to change something, I would go straight into defense mode. Now, with the help of the Lord, I listen and take in consideration every thing. Cook, clean, get dolled up just because, set aside time for just the both of you, be intentional about being the best wife you can possibly be. It works for us and I'm sure it will work for you and your marriage. So cheers to putting forth the effort and keeping the spark alive in our marriages.

Hope these experiences that I've encountered help someone along the way! There's more, but these are the few that has made such a big difference in my marriage thus far.

Jesus Is Just That Good,

Pamelia Walker